Lately (today) I’ve been thinking about joy, asking what truly holds it for me. And one thing, without a doubt, is solitude. Those quiet moments for myself, when there are no expectations, just complete peace.
I’m the only adult in my house - just me and my daughter - so in theory, I get plenty of time alone. But there’s always something that “needs” doing, endless tasks demanding attention.
My favourite kind of solitude? It feels indulgent, but it’s incredibly simple. A 6am wake up on a Sunday morning, preferably deep in the middle of winter, when the world seems to still be asleep. Strong black coffee. Pen. Paper. A book. Maybe my laptop. A candle or two - yeah, I know - decadent AF. But that peace recharges me.
I think cyclists and runners feel it too, though they have an excuse. “I’m going running” It’s harder to justify doing nothing. “I’m going solituding..."
I heard Tom Hanks on Desert Island Discs say, "Loneliness is to be avoided, solitude is to be sought." I mean - what a fucking dude. You can’t argue with that guy.
So Sunday mornings hold magic for me.
Another moment comes to mind - an early spring morning, heading to the ceramics studio. It’s about a 40-50 minute walk from my house, and I wasn’t entirely sure of the way. Running late. A little stressed. My app led me straight through the park, a place I hadn’t been in months. I looked up from the directions on my phone and was suddenly hit by the lushness of everything. The park in Hastings is pretty mega, the euphoria of that moment has stayed with me. There was just me, alone, in total awe. Unexpected joy.
Solitude is a slippery thing. Hard to explain, and often requiring a "no" to something you feel you should do - or to someone you are probably fond of.
It can feel selfish, a guilty pleasure. My other-half knows I struggle with prioritising my need for it over the things I feel I should be doing.
Maybe solituding should be a new trend, word of the year perhaps - something met with a firm understanding and encouraging nod from friends and family.
Because honestly? I’m a much nicer person on the other side it.