Right now my brain is in cement mixer mode, clarity and confusion are wrestling it out with each other.
It has been brought to the centre of my attention, by the clever brand guy, that RockCakes is a game of two halves. The safe and the risky, the sweet and the dark, control and freedom, the expensive and the not so expensive. There is confusion here... I am confused.
I have known this "two sides to the same coin" situation for a while and chosen to ignore it, because that is easier, was easier.
But here we are and it's glaring at me, asking to be solved. RockCakes is asking to be split into two.
I know the cause. The creative part of me wants to dress in weird clothes, set up a painting studio in the loft, doodle and listen to old spiritual jazz and hiphop records all day. But the "real me" - the sensible me, the mother, the daughter, the mortgage payer, the responsible me - wants to make nice things and behave.
I need to find balance and clarity in my business, where the two sides of RockCakes can co-exist, thrive, and feed each other.
So, 17 years in and some fundamental changes are on the horizon. I need these changes to set myself free - creatively. To gain clarity on what I’m truly doing, and to allow RockCakes to become everything it can to be.
So how do you split a creative business in half so that it is still a whole? That is yet to be established.
I don't have all the answers right now. All I know is that I just filled a whole sketchbook with paintings of snakes hoping that the answer would be there. It wasn't.
And yet, somehow, I do feel kinda better. Maybe the process of figuring it out is the answer at the moment and there's a little word, beginning with p, that I need to lean into... Patience - not my forte. Maybe that's the lesson in all of this...